Flashback

Everybody, lookie what I found! This was me when I was in my mummy's tummy (about 3 months? Can't remember) Wow it really does look like me!

*Sigh* I do remember the good ol times when I used to just float around and suck up my food through a tube.

But how come my body looks like a Chicken drumstick? Thank goodness that got sorted before I came out!

Good on ya Mum!

ohohdjfd, Im so excited for mummy! Today her client unexpectedly bought 2 units of the Westin REsidences in Auckland! Thats like some sorta miracle cause these apartments are RM2 million each and really not that easy to sell. So mummy did RM 4 million today, YAY! Mummy was so happy she called me immediately. I was at Ramlas house watching TV and having some snacks. She said she needed my help to talk to her boss.

So heres the game plan. Shes going to make me all dirty and rub some mud into my eyes and cheeks to make us look very poor and suffering. She'll take me to work and apologise that there is nobody to look after me. She has to work so hard on weekends that on weekdays she has no choice but to babysit me and go to work at the same time.

Then, while I am eating my lunch of plain rice porridge in the office, she will gently approach her boss about getting 1% comission. Of course the boss will say no, and so I will toddle in and say "please boss, please." and give him my big puddle eyes. Then the boss will agree to 0.5%, which mummy will take and then complain about how stingy her boss is.

What a clever plan! I'll keep you guys updated on how it works out ok?

Thank Goodness I Survived Mothers Day!

Whew! I was soo stressed out cause of Mothers Day. It was so much pressure for me cause I know that Im mummy's only little boy, and if I dont get her something nice then she wont have anything at all. And then Nana too, what will I get her? And Poh Poh? Triple pressure I tell you! It was all too much for a little 2 year old like me.

First of all I didn't even know it was Mothers day, until the day before, when mummy reminded me. Thats when the pressure began. I tried to ask daddy for help but it was clear that he was still all sickly and WASNT EVEN GOING TO GET HER ANYTHING. I went to my Alliance bank virtual pet piggy bank but I didnt know how to open it to get the money out. It was clear that I would have to take something from Nanas room and give it to mummy, and then take something from Mummy's room and give it to Nana.

So to cut a long story short, I did a whole lot of messes, which resulted in Nana's underwear being in mummys drawers among other things, when finally I found $200 from Auntie Sue in an ang pow from my first birthday. I guess mummy must have missed that one!

I was so happy! In the end, I bought mummy dinner at Atria and I bought Nana a rose scented candle in an embroidered bag. I didnt get Poh Poh anything cause she is in Melbourne.

Whew! thank goodness thats over and everyone is happy. What did you get your Mum for mothers day?

Daddy Is Sick!!

Yay, yay, Daddy is Sick, Daddy is Sick!

Mummy and I are so happy and dancing and prancing like witches around a cauldron.

Daddy is hardly ever sick and hardly ever takes a day off work. He is always soldiering on even though he has athsma and sinus really bad sometimes. But this time, he has been sick for a few days and suffering very badly. He is dripping like a tap and even coughing up reddy-brown poo poo yuk yuk. Poor Daddy.

But good for us! You see, now Daddy is sick, he hardly goes out at nighttime and is always at home in bed. I can cuddle up to him and play with him anytime. Sure, he is grumpy if I make too much noise but I dont mind at all. Mummy is having a ball getting him medicine and water and drinks and tucking him in when he is already asleep. She says she used to play doctors and nurses with her dollies all the time when she was little, and now its like Daddy is her little dolly. Only Daddy wouldnt like being treated like a dolly so mummy does most of the dolly stuff when hes asleep.

Plus, every night is movie night in bed!!! Yay!

But of course, its no fun for Daddy to be suffering so much. So everynight when I say my prayers, I do pray my very hardest to Jesus that Daddy will be well again very soon. Then he will be off again, for work and events and friends and business networking and I will hardly see him. I will sure be sad and miss the cuddles and playing. But at least he will be happy again.
I love my daddy. Bye Bye!

Fashion is for Babies

Hi Everybody!

Recently I was having a meeting about next years Jimilo with my PR Agency, discussing about which kiddie labels we should get in the show. I told them i wanted something really drama that will knock the socks of everybody, not stuff like osh kosh or even baby gap which is more like everyday clothes and stuff. Who cares if nobody is ever going to wear it? It makes a good show, and thats the only way to kick ass of Stylo and make sure daddy comes to Jimilo instead!

(Ps. I was gonna link Stylo but then I found out they dont even have a website! Haha, LOSERS! Anyway, for those who dont know, Stylo is some Fashion Festival that always steals my daddy away by being on the same day as my birthday. And now they face my wrath. Rar!!!!)

Now if you've ever seen me around in the park or going shopping, you would probably have noticed me cause of my super cute face and big puddle eyes. But NOT because of my clothes. Cause although I have one or two nice pieces, most of my clothes are super daggy.

Mummy always says "You'll outgrow them in a few months, and anyway, theres no one to impress when you're only 2 years old." But the truth is, she is calculating in her head the price of that cute Baby Gap t-shirt and how many pairs of shoes she can get for herself with the same amount of money!! The answer is 2 pairs, therefore my clothes are forever and always from Babyland/Tesco/Anakku sales. =(

Daddy is much less stingy. He understands that when I look good, he looks good. That is why he got me a real dapper suit from Vietnam, a three piece with pinstripes. When Im big enough to fit into it, I will wear it with my sunglasses. I will hang out with Uncle Tony and 'take care of business' like the Mafia es mi familia. But that will happen only when Im 3 years old or so. Until then, I AM DAGGY. Arrh!!

This is why sometimes I daydream that some cute little woodland creatures will come by and sew me a pretty outfit and get me some cute shoes with buckles and not velcro. Something like this:

Totally CUTE right!! Can you imagine, if you saw this kid on the street, you would totally give him whatever he wants, right. You'ld give him a lollipop, cookies and then all your money. Cause he got style.

And even though his mummy is totally dorky in her big frilly red & white panties, she manages to pass herself off only because she is walking next to the super styling kid. Instead of coming off as a nut-case, she manages to pull it off as 'exotic', thanks to the kid. If only all mummies understood, such is the power of well-dressed offspring!!

Vavavoom! Oh mummy, can I have me a Venetian Boaters hat for my birthday, please? Only, can I have it without the Scary Flamenco Dancer Lady on the side?

Ok, I wouldn't wear this obviously, but I posted it anyway cause I think white summer dresses are the most refreshing look on little girls. And I would totally share all my cookies with THAT LITTLE GIRL. She a cutie pie!

The designer for the boys outfits is Margarita Friere from Spain. I like her kids stuff but not really the mummy and daddy outfits. Sorry Margarita. If you give me a free hat maybe I will reconsider. The little girl outfit is from Camilla Franks, Aussie designer.

Needless to say, I will be sending them cookies and doing lots of PR with them to get them to come to Jimilo!

Time to go to Nursery!!

Hello Everybody!!

Now that Im 2 years old and a little bit more, mummy is thinking that I should start going to nursery school and learning how to socialize. Of course, she first thought about the importance of nursery school some time ago, but being the lazy mummy who is addicted to channel E! that she is, hasnt got around to looking for a good school for me.

It was only after the public holiday last thursday, whereby she spent the WHOLE ENTIRE DAY with me (and nearly passed out from trying to keep up with my super high energy) that she realized my only friends were animals and teddy bears. I am bestest of friends with Achoo (the kitten), and Blossom (the dalmatian) and Turtles (the Turtles); not to mention baby blossom, winnie pooh, teddy, teddie, teddi, barney and paddington bear, who are all my soft toys.

Well, I thought I had a very active social life. Why, only yesterday I had a tea party with Achoo, the turtles and teddy (I baked the cupcakes myself) and a very good time was had by all. But NO, that is not good enough for Mummy. Mummy thinks I need to socialize with real human kids, and learn things like sharing and being kind. So now she is looking for a nursery school near my place to enroll me in. There are many choices - Montessori or not Montessori? Christian or Jewish? Chinese or English or International? With cookies at snack time, or carrot sticks? The selection is vast indeed. At the moment I am hoping that she will go for a Non-montessori Jewish Chinese with cookies school, if there is one near where we live.

Or better still, something like THIS PLACE which is totally awesome. This is a kindergarten in Berlin called Taka-Tuka-Land, which looks like the coolest kindergarten in the world. I got these pics from the cool hunter website (one of my favouritest sites)

Totally Cooollllll!!!!

You can really see how much fun the kids are having. I can almost hear the laughter coming from the pictures! I can even almost hear little voices saying "Come to Germany, little Jimi. Zher is much fun to be had here. Come. We shall have zhe frankfurts and apple pies to welcome you." Trippy.

Sadly, I dont think there are kindergartens as cool as this existing in Malaysia currently. But dont worry, when Daddy becomes a multi-millionaire (soon), I will make sure he builds one, and all of mummy's and daddy's friends can send their kids there!! Of course I will be the head prefect there and in charge of the playground discipline... so your kids might come home with a few bruises and cookies missing from their lunch boxes now and then. But hey, its a small price to pay for the previledge of attending such an awesome school!!

Sigh. One can only dream. Mummy says that most likely the kindergarten I go to will be similar to the one that she went to when she was little. In her kinder, they were forced to sing Negaraku and march in the yard every morning. For lunch they were force-fed beans and rice and after that they were forced to have nap-time (no, not on a mattress but with their heads on the desk, you can imagine how comfy that is!). Their "games" were - 1) playing with plastercine, 2) playing with clay and 3) playing with play dough. Their only play ground equipment was a rusty swing, and if you hadn't had your tetanus shots you would surely die if you played on it. Basically if you have watched the series Prison Break (Season 2), that is more or less what my mummy's kinder was like.

After hearing mummys stories, I am a little bit scared of going to any school. But of course, I have to. Its the only way to grow up.

Well, I'll keep you guys posted on the nursery news. In the meantime, lets hope daddy becomes multi-millionaire really really fast!!

I Feel Pretty... Oh So Pretty...

Hello Everybody!

Err, just so you know, I'm currently sick again with a stomach virus. I'm throwing up and having died-rear all the time.. its like Im in that Exorcist movie. And I have fever too, which goes up and down and when its down im ok, but when its up I get delirious and babble nonsense and stuff and start laughing and arguing with myself. Mummy and Daddy thinks it may be that I have been eating bits from Achoo's kitty litter, and thats what made me sick. Mummy says I should stay away from dirty things, especially any poo poo from a cat. ERrrr, My TUMMY...it feels all yukky like there are wormies inside...

But anyway, I am feeling a bit happy today cause today I get to post up pretty pics of Me! Yes thats right! About 2 weeks ago, me and mummy and Poh Poh went to Atria Shopping Centre, and we saw there was a photo shoot for kiddies going on by IDEES Studio and they were having a promotion.

We were abit skeppy about IDEES studio, cause first of all their logo looked kinda crappy and second of all they were from Kepong, which is not really brimming with stylish and artistic kinda people. The photographer was a short dude with long hair and didnt speak much English. But mummy said, its quite a reasonable price and she doesnt have any nice photos of me and so mummy signed me up for it. I had to get into 2 costumes and stand in front of a screen with lots of lights and a big umbrella in front. Mummy and Poh Poh were bouncing around and doing silly things to get me to smile. It took about an hour to do the whole thing, and in the end this is what we got...


The first bunch of pics, I was in a cowboy costume. But they didnt have a cowboy hat so they put a piece of cloth on me. And i looked sorta like an indian instead. The thing I am holding is a water bottle. I dunno why, they took the gun away from me and gave me this instead. Maybe they are an anti-violence studio.

Look mummy, they turned me into a cartoon!

A close up.. This pic would have been cooler with a gun. You'll never catch me alive! I'll shoot myself in the face!!

Here, I do one of my famous naughty boy poses with my tongue sticking out. Look at my cute chubby arms. Hehe!

------------------------------------------------------------------

The next costume I got into was a sailor suit. Ahh..The good old little boy in a sailor suit photo. Well, mummy thinks its cute.

This one of me and Barney is mummy's favourite. Its the only one where my hat stayed on.

This one, Mummy did a big cross eyed spastic look to get me to smile.

This one, the photographer farted out the song BaaBaa Black Sheep to get me to laugh.

This one, I am looking very thoughtful with Barney. This is Poh Poh's favourite.

This photo, Barney was attacking my shoulder and I was like, Ahhh Ahhh, and they took a photo and it turned out not bad.

Well, thats all, only 8 photos. I hope you like them! Mummy says Idees is not bad, though they kept charging for additional stuff and it didn't end up that cheap after all. But at least she got some pics of me smiling! She says next time she will get photos of Daddy and Her and Me together, and it will be classy and stylish like a Calvin Klein ad. Good idea, mummy! Mummy and Daddy can pose in singlets and Calvin Klein undies, and I will pose in my nappy!

Boring Old Mummy Pictures and Poh Poh's New Film Career

Its here. The evidence of Mummy traitor-ing around at Stylo. Auntie Elaine FINALLY downloaded them from her camera and mummy passed them to me to post up. Took long enough. The pictures are practically sepia-toned by now.

News flash, mummy, I dont think my fans are interested in pictures about you, ok. But anyway, since mummy got me a Virtual Pet Piggy Bank yesterday, I will do her a favour and post up just a few pics. I chose the ones where she doesnt look so traitor-y.

I think Uncle Kim looks really pretty in his pink shirt, and Auntie Elaine looks quite handsome in her black dress. Mummy on the other hand, looks a bit pregnant. The lady on the stage is a famous singer called Shafinazazaza and Auntie Elaine is a big fan, so she and mummy harassed the poor lady and forced her to take photos with them.

Theres more pics, but yeah yeah.... Im lazy to put them up since I'm not in any of them.

Sorry, fans. Sorry to bore you like this. I will try to make it better by putting some interesting-ish comments.

In this pic above, you can see that Auntie Elaine is roughly about my height. HAHAHA! Just Joking! Now I have to pray really hard that she doesnt read my blog and see this.

In this pic, well.. its just like the previous pic but someone has cut their legs off. You cant see, but at the bottom their legs are spurting blood and stuff. Mummy and Auntie Elaine are in agony but have to smile and look pleasant for the sake of pretending to be glamorous for the paparats.

In this pic, Uncle Kim and Auntie Elaine look super ro mantic and glamorous. Uncle Kim's chest hair matches perfectly with Auntie Elaine's black dress, which means they have put abit of effort into co-ordinating their outfits.

In this pic, the Shafinazazaza lady has sort of nice titties.

This pic is of the Shafinazazaza lady singing. Her real legs are in the black dress behind. THe legs you see here are fake legs, hence they are super shiny. I think I will hire this Shafinazazaza lady for next years Jimilo. She might even do a duet with the Wiggles.

------------------------------------------------------------

And now, for more interesting and ground breaking news!! Poh Poh is now a film star. She recently got called by a talent agency to be in 2 commercials. In one, she acts as "Unobservant Woman". In the other, she is "Homeless Woman". I think they are both TV commercials.

Hmm.... Homeless and Unobservant..... well. I think its SUPER GLAM! I think Poh Poh looks like a very nice homeless woman! Even if her part is only 3 seconds. I am now issuing autographed copies of pics of me and poh poh for sale at 50 cents a piece. Write to me if you would like to order!!

Super Cool

Hello Friends! Today's blog is about the top things that I think are super cool. These are the super coolest things that Ive seen in the whole wide world since the 2 years Ive been alive. There are lots of cool things, but since I cant count past 10 I'll just put up a few (I forget how many). I hope you think its cool too!!


THE NO 1 COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD: DADDY ON THE GUITAR!!


Ok, in this pic he's not really shredding it, and you cant really see the guitar that well. But I can explain. This is because when daddy shreds the guitar his fingers are like lighting speed x 100 million, and no camera created by humankind can capture it. So all you will see is a blur, and maybe even the camera will explode from the excitement. As for the the super cool Mutagen Green Washburn Dimebag signature guitar, I can't capture it on camera either because of its super powers. When its in the case, it is just like an ordinary guitar. But in the hands of the Chosen One, its super powers get activated and it radiates super-awesomeness and any mortal who lays eyes on it will instantly turn into a pillar of salt. And THAT is why this is the no 1 coolest thing in the world.


The No 2 Coolest Thing in the World: JIMI ON THE GUITAR!!



Check out how super cool I look playing the guitar. Wow.

And this was when I was only, like, 1 year old. Mine is not a super cool Washburn yet, cause they dont make them small enough for me. But if they did, I would be totally ripping it. If I keep practising, I will be as good as daddy when I am 5 years old, and I will be the youngest Rock Star in the world. And that is why this is coolest thing no 2.


COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD NO 3: THIS AWESOME BABY!

This is one of the coolest babies ever! He lives in America. One morning he got up wanting milk, but his dumbass mother was asleep. Then he smelt smoke and saw burning hot flames in their low class American apartment that has no sprinklers. So he grabbed his mother and tied a pillow to her ass and threw her out the window to save her, and she landed on the pillow and survived. Then he put a rubber ball in his own nappy, and jumped out the window, and he landed on his ass and survived. This is a picture here that someone took of him jumping out the building. He is totally cool.

COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD NO 4: THIS BABY BREAKDANCER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aus7I7MhaOM

Ok, I dont know how to put the video on my blog. But heres the link to this Awesome cool baby! He can breakdance really good and hes only like 2 plus years old. I guess some of you may have seen this on youtube before, but you dunno how to appreciate it. Let me explain that as a baby, it is very very difficult to do some of the moves this kid did, ok. I have tried it and all I managed to do was turn myself into a upside down "U". So this kid is like, some kind of genius and maybe next week I will write to him and make him my best friend.



COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD NO 5: AWESOME BABY STUFF!





Normally I dont care about baby stuff cause I just leave it to my mum to buy whatever. But these things I found are really really awesome, dont you agree? I dont even know what they are, but I know if I had one, I would be super cool and all mummies, daddies and babies will be jealous of me. And that is how you can tell something is really Uber Cool: When Nobody knows what is really does, but Everybody Wants It! Like that stupid IPhone that Daddy wants Mummy to buy. What the hell is so special about it? It dont even have no buttons!! But somehow everybody wants it. Whatever.


Anyway you can find all this cool baby stuff in http://www.thecoolhunter.net/

This is not my whole list of course. Other cool stuff i like include:

- Ice Cream on those sticks
- Sour drinks
- Coke
- Predators
- Transformers
- Super high platform shoes


But today Im too busy to blog about any more, I have a schedule you know!! Its almost 6pm, and according to my schedule that means time to throw Achoo down the stairs. 7.30pm is when mummy comes home, so have to be good a bit.

So bye bye everybody, till next time then!!


PS> I wanna say that the other day, Auntie Eve and Uncle Y came by to take me and mummy to .......... ITALIANNIES!!! I got me a balloon and some ice cream. But mummy said I was badly behaved and I should apologise. .....Sorry Everybody, Im sorry I was a bad boy.... I will try harder next time. And oh, Auntie Eve gave us some Big Apple Donuts which are also going to be on my list of super cool things. Too bad Daddy ate them ALL and mummy got not a single one!! Bad daddy! Mummy says he will get constipation and serves him right.


Thanks Auntie Eve for the donuts!

Mr. Mom

Sorry everybody, I know I promised to put up pictures from my birthday ages ago. Im waiting for my slow coach mummy to get the pictures from Uncle Devan and Ive been waiting for like foooreeeeveerrr. I dunno how come they live in the same house but hardly have time to talk or exchange a couple-a pictures. I think Im the only one in the house who makes an effort to talk to everyone, including the pets and toys and furniture.

Hurry up mummy! You dont want to keep my fans waiting or they're going to lynch mob you! People want to see pictures of me to brighten up their day and you're screwing it up!

Mummy wastes alot of her time watching channel E! and forgets to do her mummy duties. I will have to ask daddy to discipline her whe he gets back from Singapore. (Hes there for Singapore Fashion Week.. dear me, I hope he doesnt come back all faggotty. Oops Im not supposed to know that word.)

In the meantime, please amuse yourself with this interesting article about.. MR MOM!!

Now you know i have an interest in cool mums and yuck mums (cause duh, im a baby) but this MOM is just plain wierd. This person used to be a woman but she took some pills and cut off some bits and so became a MAN. But she(He) forgot the very important bits and so he can still get pregnant just like a LADY!! And then, he's also married to another lady who has 2 kids. So now he is 6 mths pregnant with a little baby girl and got on OPRAH because he's the first man-mom in the whole wide world. Whoa, what a NEAT TRICK TO BECOME FAMOUS!!!

That makes me think.. if Daddy was the one who was pregnant with me, instead of mummy,
how would I be like?

Would I have a closer bond with daddy and he would be the one breastfeeding me and playing with me and getting up in the middle of the night to clean my poo poo?? I think that would be so wierd. And honestly, if my daddy used to be A GIRL, I think I would be a psycho baby right now and get ADHD before I turn 3 yrs old.

Mummy, on the other hand, says it would be so cool if daddy was pregnant with their next bub instead of her. She would be drooling with satisfaction at seeing daddy go through all the things she went through. She even gave me a list of all the things she would be so satisfied about:

- Daddy getting swollen ankles (and cankles)
- Daddy getting back pain
- Daddy walking like an indian penguin
- Daddy looking like a whale (here, she will make fun of daddy and call him Fatty Free Willy)
- Daddy with swollen titties which she will 'accidentally' knock around
- Daddy needing to pee every 10 mins, and sometimes peeing a little in his underwear
- Daddy getting craving for ice cream every 5 mins
- Daddy wearing a mumu dress which pregnant ladies wear

HAHAHA! I guess it would be funny, seeing daddy not being able to touch his toes. Well, hes only a few more burgers away anyway. Mummy and I will get popcorn and sit on the couch and laff at him until he cries and gets a hot flush. HAHA!

Well, thats all for now. I PROMISE I'll put up the birthday pics soon as mummy gets over her addiction to the Daily 10 and Giuliana Rancic (oh wait, she likes that Sal guy cause he looks abit like Predator from Aliens and Predators). Mummy really really likes predators and thinks they are the coolest.

Me and Mummy

There were alot of times when me and mummy were prancing around in public areas and people gave mummy funny looks cause they think she has kidnapped me. People must wonder how such a cute kid like me who is a little bit milk coffee can have a pasty white char siew pao kinda mummy. Some people ask me, "Is your mummy Tyra Banks, and is your daddy David Blaine? Cause you look a little bit like them." It is true, they ask me that. And of course I say yes, and pretend mummy is my maid from China.

This sort of thing never happens when Im with daddy. When me and daddy are together, people take one step back in awe and fear. Other daddys with their kids begin to feel uncomfortable and inferior. It is because of our massive rock star coolness combined.

Anyway, today I feel bad about pretending mummy is a maid from China. She does try to be a good mummy I suppose. I wanted to put up a picture of me and mummy together so everybody knows this is my mummy, not Ling Ling from Hebei as I may have previously told some people.

I know mummy likes this pic very much cause if you look carefully, you can see that some of our features are actually a bit similar! (Ok, really have to Squint to see it!).. and in this pic we are almost the same color. Yay for mummy!

Jesus Loves You

Hi everybody, Happy Easter Sunday!

Guess where I am today. I am at mummys work place! We are hanging out and watching the Wiggles on YouTube. We had yummy roti canai for lunch and i ate the roti without any sauce. It is fun cause I can pretend to be receptionist and prank call mummys colleagues. But mummys not much fun today (normally she will things like photocopy my ass and turn it into a smiley face poster). (Which is what she did last time I was at the office. The poster was found by the boss and he told mummy to make very sure theres no poo poo on the expensive photocopy machine. What a juvenile and silly mummy).

But not today. Today mummy is tired from going out to the Mercedes F1 Party and the BMW Sauber F1 Party last night with Daddy. She says she had so much fun especially at the BMW one which was in a big silver tent near KLCC. They had a pretty DJ called Sky Nellar and huge stage with huge huge LCD screen. It was like a rave party exept super posh and with alot of free booze (apparently the event cost 4 milllion). But anyway. I guess if mummy had her own blog she would talk alot about the party but since this is my blog, Im going to talk about Easter Sunday!

Easter is cool cool cool. This morning I went to Glad Tidings church with Poh Poh and Gong Gong and they had a lovely party for all the kids. I met alot of new friends. They played a game called musical chairs, but I thought the game didnt make any sense so I improved it by taking my chair and pushing it around to the music, which was alot more fun. Unfortunately the organisers didnt like me doing that, so they kicked me out.

After that we did arts and crafts and I made a cool "Jesus is Alive" cup with chocolate easter eggs inside, and I decorated the outside with stickers and I wrote JIMI all over it. Of course Gong Gong helped me a little bit but all the artistic direction was done by me.

So its a really cool day so far and I cant wait for Easter again next year.

Bye bye everybody, and remember Jesus Loves YOU!

Woooo

I just want everybody to know that for the next 3 days my daddy will be driving a BMW.

Wooooo

Hopefully he will let me have a go behind the wheel and I will honk at everyone who is in an inferior car. If you see a really obnoxious BMW on the street, make sure you roll your window down and say hi to me!

I dont wanna be custard.

This picture was taken in Singapore around last Christmas time. I was sad back then because of being sick, and now Im feeling sad again, just like in the picture. In this picture, I am like the poster child for broken families, and thats exactly how I feel.

Its because of Mummy and Daddy fighting. They have been fighting for a few weeks now, though its not like FIGHTING fighting, just the quiet and tension-y sort of fighting. When i ask mummy about how she is, she says that she is not feeling well cause Daddy has put alot of daggers in her heart. She's gone and lost her appetie and cant really sleep at night too. Daddy is so busy most of the time and mummy says they had not had a proper conversation in a long time. Not to mention the problem with MissyWDEGFIHFILWM?, otherwise known as MissyISHTOGHMAIHNGF and MissyLAMIHSBBBE. Hee hee. If you know what the letters mean it is very very funny. Hehe hehe. Anyway.

Mummy mopes around the house and stares into outer space. When I do dangerous stunts like hanging off the ceiling fan or juggling knives; mummy is not really watching me cause her mind is somewhere else.

I have heard about custard children on TV and I dont want to be a custard child. A custard child is someone who's Mummy and Daddy is fighting for child custardy because they dont get along anymore. A good example of custard children are SPF1 & 2, Britney's children. Being custard is one of the saddest things that can happen to a child.

When mummies and daddies fight, kids get sad but dont really know why they're sad. Poor custard children must be sad all the time. When mummy and daddy are fighting, I feel like something is not right at all and the feeling is there the whole day. I dont feel much like playing except with Achoo, who is now my bestest friend. I hug and kiss Achoo and my other soft toys alot coz it makes me feel like somebody loves me. The worry makes me can't go poo poo the whole day. And at night, I prefer to sleep with Nana and Tata and not Mummy and Daddy cause of the tension in Mummys room. And I cry alot for no reason too. And Im not even custard yet!

I think of some of the things that could happen if I ever turn custard. Is being Custard like being and orphan? Or half an orphan, cause only one parent looks after you? What if I never see Daddy again and forget who he is? What if I can only see Nana and Tata only on some weekends? What if I get sold to Brangelina?

Thinking about it makes me sad. Now im gonna go hug my teddy and cry. Bye bye everyone... maybe next time you see me... I will be in LA with Maddox and Zahara...

I know what you did last nite, Mummy!

Sneaky mummy. Mummy knows Stylo is my arch enemy. Stylo stole my daddy on all my birthdays and thats why I created Jimilo to fight back. If you understand good and evil, you will know that Stylo is like the Decepticons and Jimilo is like the Autobots. We may be smaller but we are pure of heart. And the Autobots will always win cause good always beats evil.

But what did mummy do? She sneaky sneaky went out while I was still at Ramlaa's house, having an innocent nap. When I came home I called "Mummy! Mummy!" and I went up the stairs. And then I saw it - mummys pretty dress and expensive shoes were gone, and there was makeup all thrown about on the bed, and I knew that Mummy had got dressed very quickly and sneakied out to Stylo, my archest ever enemy!! Boy was I mad!

First Daddy. Now Mummy. How many more will fall to the dark side?

Lucky I put a secret button spycam on her dress to see what was happening. I saw daddy there with many bags under his eyes. This is what happens when you are beginning to turn evil, just like the emperor in Star Wars. A few more days, and he will be shrivelled and white - meaning he has full evil power already. Luckily it is reversible by just spending a few days with someone pure of heart, like me. Once daddy gets back he will be normal again, so dont worry. I do say he looks very dapper in his suit though, and it makes me wanna be grown up and wear a suit to next years Jimilo.

I saw grand auntie Esther and grand auntie Claire who are tatas family friends. Im not really surprised they have fallen to the dark side, as they are very indian diva-ish. I dont blame them cause they dunno about Jimilo. I saw the pretty blue fairy there too looking very chic & dapper, and Auntie Marikoko who I actually never met before, and the scary fairy-uncle who wanted to breast feed me last time. Wow, alot of people at Stylo. Must be the nice food and colorful drinks.

I guess the fashion from BRITISH INDIA was pretty good too. I like the little indian boys wearing the cool turbans. There were many pretty and dapper clothes, but nothing in my size though. I like the Yasmin Ahmad lady cause she is pretty funny, but she looks like she can spank pretty hard so I wouldnt want her to be my nanny or anything. Its too bad theres no catalogue to take home or door gift or anything. People who come to Jimilo always get door gifts and a special flying kiss to remember the event.

I can see they spent alot of effort to make the afterparty look nice and there were even British India scented candles everywhere. Cute food in little glasses that I would want to play with and not eat. A big beer bar which Tata would like very much. It looks like mummy is having fun, I suppose.

Then someone spotted mummy and recognized her as an Autobot from the good side. They probably thought she was spying to steal ideas for Jimilo. Anyway, they threw a beer bottle down and one of the bottle sharp bits got mummy on the leg, and first blood was drawn. A duel was declared where mummy and the bottle thrower had to fight to the death. Unfortunately socialites are not interested in duels these days so nobody fought in the end. It ended up that the only victims were mummy's new-ish creamy faux-python wooden platform Aldo shoes which got yukky blood stains all over them.

Mummy rushed to the toilets to try to save them. A nice lady Datin Lena who apparently used to be a girl scout many centuries ago helped to wash the glass out and tie a scarf around her leg. I guess mummy was thankful but more worried about the shoes than her leg.

"Please. Save my Shoes," Mummy pleaded. "I love them like my own child." (hmmm..)

But nothing could be done to get the blood out. Mummy grieved, and Datin Lena escaped with her own shoes intact. That was the end of that, cause mummy went home soon after that tragic mishap. (The shoes, "Aldie," as mummy fondly calls them, were sadly put to rest this morning in a small casket. A short eulogy was given to conclude the ceremony).

So thats the end of my spycam report. I guess I can admit that Stylo is a nice event. It is too bad about mummys shoes. Dunno why so many people were dropping bottles. Mummy told me later that 3 times, glass was broken around her that night. The first 2 times she escaped unhurt and the third time was unlucky. I think if ever there was a random shooting in Malaysia, mummy would somehow get hit even if she was just staying at home. Thats what you get when you join the Decepticons.

So looks like I have a lot of work to do on Jimilo to bring it up to scratch to compete. First thing is I need more budget, so if anyone wants to hire me for anything, I charge 50 cents an hour. I can entertain you, play with you and sing you a song. Call me!

Im 2 years old & 2 days!

Hello Everybody!

I see that most people went to Stylo instead of Jimilo since the turn out at my event was pretty small. All you suckers for branding and advertising. I will advertise next year and get me an event organizer too ok. And it wont be stupid Hotshoes cause they are doing Stylo and I dont want Stylo to steal my cool event ideas......
(A LITTLE HINT: Next year for my Grand Entry I will be jumping out of a helicopter, into a swimming pool full of ice cream! This year my grand entry was on a tricycle.. so you can see how much bigger my budget next year will be).

But this year was soo cool anyway, coz all the VIPS were there and I got me a lotta lotta cake and presents!!

My presents include cars, cars, more cars. YAY! And I got a magnetic drawing board, and a truck from Gong Gong, and new shoes and clothes, and a car playset with roads, and a barney CD and booster from Auntie Vivijayayaya. My new shoes are like black golf shoes and they're really cool. So now I will take up golf, and Achoo will be my caddie. I will be like Tiger Woods and wear a red polo shirt and hat and look smart. Awesome!

AND I got 3 birthday cakes. One we ate the day before my birthday (ehem.. the 'JIMILO Prelaunch Event') and 2 we ate on my birthday itself. Then after that we went to the after party, which was my grand grand auntie auntie's birthday in Cheras. I played with Yuvan koko and I had a great time, cause he was sooooooo jealous of my black ferrari collectors edition box car. And even when mummy was packing my bag later cause it was time to go home, Yuvan koko was like begging "Please, please can I see the car one more time, Jimi, please Jimi..." Haha. That was cool.

And then when we got home, I was really tired. Mummy gave me a bath and we sang Ding dong bell and we lied on the bed and read 'Wheres Ivan?' about 15 times. Then we decided to sleep on the bed upside down just for fun, cause its my birthday. What a way to end a great day.

TOO BAD DADDY WASNT THERE.. SILLY DADDY! I WONT LET YOU EAT ANY OF MY YUMMY CAKE, DADDY. DADDY CAN GO EAT STYLO CAKE, WHICH TASTES LIKE CALVIN KLEIN......BEIGE, BLAND AND BLEEEHHH.

Anyway, I have some photos from my birthday which I will be posting on my next blog, taken from Uncle Devans camera. I wished I could take photos of all my presents but daddy took his camera for Stylo, and therefore screwed me over again.

I HOPE YOURE READING THIS BLOG DADDY. I HOPE YOU ARE SORRY AND TAKE ME AND MUMMY TO AQUARIA TO MAKE UP FOR ALL YOUR SORRINESS.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do all my own mixes for JIMILO. No help from Daddy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Fashionator

De nene nene!

Ok, its been 5 mins since my previous blog and now I dont feel so orphan-y anymore! Wow, its true... looking at happy pictures DOES work!!

SO... with STYLO coming up (My daddy is working for d event) and what more, ON THE SAME DAY as my BIRTHDAY and stealing my limelight!! (grrr) I decided to show those Stylo Milos a thing or two about Jimibot fashion. Those silly fashionistas at the STYLO dont know what they're missing.. coz im going to have catwalk at my birthday too.

Everybody, forget STYLO! This is JIMILO. The fresher, younger, milkier version of Stylo. And watch out coz your eyes are going to pop when you see me workin it like Tyra*!

*minus the fat ass and 40 years of ageing

I GOT IT GOIN ON, BABY. I wonder how come daddy didnt get me a gig at STYLO?
Kekeke. If I have time, I'll do a regular Jimilo entry with new looks. EAT MY NAPPY, STYLO PUNKS!

Sun & Water & Better Times

Well. Im still feeling a bit like an orphan.

Of course its only been 5 seconds since my previous blog entry, when I first thought about how similar I am to an orphan only without the freebies. To cheer myself up I decided to post some pics of happier times... when I was healthy, happy and had parents.

These pics were from around Chinese New Year time, when corporations throughout Asia let their slaves off for a few days. So mummy and daddy had some daylight hours to spend with me and we did some cool stuff.

Mummy and Poh Poh and Auntie Joo Joo Jie Jie took me swimming in the pool at Poh Pohs condo. Daddy is somewhere there too, but you cant see him cause he is hiding on a bench somewhere. Daddy is kinda like a secret alien hiding in human skin who cant get wet or he will turn into a giant slime monster.. so he tells people he cant swim. But of course he can, he just dont want people to know he is a super advanced alien or people at his work place will ask him to do more work for them and they will make him give them his alien technology surround sound knowledge.

I can almost swim as good as mummy now, except i have to work abit more on... not sinking. Just a few more lessons should do it. Man, if only my parents werent so super busy I would be an olympic swimmer by now! Rah!

Ps. Something to take note of.. I am wearing the latest toddler swim fashion from Australia in 'naughty boy blue'. The blue highlights my coffee colored tan perfectly and matches the color of most baby wading pools.

Being Sick and Gloomy

This picture is exactly how Ive been feeling lately.

Ive been sick for a whole week now with the fever and the throwing up. Its not a nice feeling at all and I cant play as much as i used to. It all started from the day I fell off the bed while trying to do a superman pose on mummys shoulder while she was sleeping. I hit my head and mummy was pretty worried that the throwing up was because of head bumping. But the doc lady said it was ok, and just a virus. So she gave me pink panadol and yellow throw up medicine (which is quite yummy).

But Im not much better, after 3 days already. Mum is working alot and daddy is always out with a certain somebody (who he seems to like spending time with alot more than either me or mummy) when he is supposed to be 'working'. =(

and hes out nighttime till late late, so I always fall asleep before I see him. Its cold and lonely and rainy and nobody take me gai gai coz im sick.

Sure, I get some hugs and kisses when i whine and do my =( face.. but i'ld much rather be better already.

Being sick sure sucks.

A good thing though is that we got a new friend in the house. Its a cute baby kitty called Achoo.

Uncle Devan found her in our drain pipe in the rain and it was sneezy so he called her Achoo.

We dunno where her mummy or daddy is, and i dunno if she even has a nanna or tata.

If I was Achoo, I would be very sad with no mummy or daddy or nanna or tata; but Achoo seems quite good. But she bites, so i practise running away real quick!

I dont have any pictures of Achoo, but she is really cute. Just imagine me with pointy ears and bigger eyes and that is basically what Achoo looks like. I do hope i get better soon, and that mummy can get off for my birthday which is coming up soon. Daddy sure wont be around of course, no need to say why.

At this rate I might as well be an orphan, at least then I will get freebies from socially conscious multinational companies.

Ang Pow Update

Yay, I got one ang pow from Auntie Vasanthas party! One down, 99 to go!

Grand Aunties Surprise Birthday

Well I am posting alot today! What a good boy I am, I must give myself a cookie or 5.

I just wanted to share with all my friends, that last night we went to Grand Auntie Vasanthas house and gave her a big surprise, on account of her birthday! Grand Auntie made me promise not to say how old she is but I can tell you its slightly less than100 yrs old...

Well I had lots of fun coz I saw my cuzzins hannah and deborah and hezzie and my tai koh Yuvan. Me and Tai Koh are in an Indian Gang. And we sure ganged up on those girls! Hezzie is still a baby and cant join me and tai koh's gang yet, so he has to go on the girly gang. We went around shooting things and robbing people of their toys, it was awesome!

Mummy says shes glad I had fun but I have to learn how to share better, and not take Hezzies toys from him.

I think I would have a lot more fun if mummy didnt follow me all around when Im doing my Gang Member Activities. What will Tai Koh say if I dont shoot some babies and bring in the spoils? Sigh. Once youre in a gang, theres only one way out. And thats in a body bag. Why cant mummies understand that...

So me and Tai Koh are maybe thinking of getting some matching gang tatoos... maybe of a car?

Learning about Time

I asked mummy this morning, "Mummy, how long is a million Gazillion years?"

Mummy said, Boy, a million gazillion years is about how long it takes for daddy to learn to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and almost about how long it will take for Britney Spears to be cool again.

I nodded in understanding, even though I do like Auntie Britney very much, ever since I saw the picture where she let her little boy drive the car. But you cant argue with mummy and win, especially when it comes to daddys dirty clothes.

So I asked "Mummy, can anything possibly last that very very long? And if time can go on for soo long, then am I just a little little speck that doesnt matter even though Im almost 2 years old and know alot of things already?"

Mummy said, Im much bigger than a little speck on account of all the milk I drink, and I matter very much to everybody who knows me. And she has many hopes for me that I will do great things when I grow up and I will be very significant to all humans.

I said, "like what sort of great things mummy?"

She said, Mimi, you can do anything you want to and Im sure it will be a great thing.
And if you become a scientist and one day manage to bend the fabric of time and space, so that daddy manages to get his dirty clothes in the right place almost immediately, then that would be a big help to humankind indeed and you might even win a nobel prize.

I told mummy I will try to work on it after band practice.

Daddy, do you think mummy is trying to tell you something?

CNY Babytots Intensive Training

These few days mummy has been putting me through some kind of intensive training course. Its for Chinese New Year, she says, which is coming up soon. She says there is a special way for baby tots to behave at Chinese new year, and if we learn to do it right, we will get lots and lots of ang pow.

I asked mummy, what is ang pow? Can i play with it or eat it? Or is it something useless like clothes and nappies? I remember last year I got ang pow but where did it go?

Mummy says "Never you mind, Jimi Boy, and never mind where last years ang pows went. You just get them and pass them to me. The more ang pows you get, the less spankings you get. For each ang pow you collect, I will minus down from 100 spanks. And remember, under no cirkumstanzes do you pass the angpows to Daddy."

Well. I dont know what is 100 coz I cant count, and I dont know the meaning of cirkumstanzes. But it sure sounds like im in for alot of pain. So I better try my bery bery hardest!

This is what mummy has been teaching me. She calls it 'roll-playing' (which is not the same as playing with your pee pee, like I thought). In the roll-play there is the married person (usually an Auntie, the giver of ang pow), me, and mummy.

(PS> IF YOU ARE A MARRIED PERSON, PLEASE LOOK AWAY! YOU ARE BANNED FROM READING THIS PART COZ ITS SUPER SUPER SECRET! IF I FIND OUT YOU ARE READING THIS, I WILL DO POO POO ON YOU!)

------ Married person filter line. No married person below this line. -----
-------------------------------------------------------

Roll-Play for CNY

Auntie: My my Jimi, havn't you grow big since I last saw you!

Me: (Doing cutest baby face, hold hands together, like an angel) Aun-tee, ang pow!
(Hey I can only say a few words ok!)

Mummy: (To me, angry look) Jimi!
(To Auntie) Im sorry I dont know where he learnt that!

Me: Aun-tee ang pow! ang pow! ang pow! (Hug and kiss auntie and big smile)

Auntie: Hahaha. He is so cute! And very smart for a 2 year old! Look Jimi, whats this... I have something for you!

Me: Gimme! (Open ang pow - find only RM2... look at mummy to see if this is good or bad) Auntie Yuck! (Throw away money if mummys look is bad)
Auntie more ang pow! More!

Auntie: Err...

Mummy: (To Auntie) Im so sorry...
(To Me) Jimi, stop this!.. Say sorry Auntie! This is not good manners...

Me: (saddest puppy dog eyes, wobbly with tears) Aun-tee, mummy scold...

Auntie: (To mummy) No, its ok... You have a daarling son....
(To me) Here Jimi, heres another ang pow. It was meant for your cousin, but you can have it instead...

Me: (Open ang pow - RM20, Good) Thank kyuu Aun-Tee!! (Big Hug Auntie)

Mummy: Youre terrible Jimi. Thank you very much, Auntie, youre too kind. Come jimi, lets say hi to other Auntie..


----Married person filter line. No married person above this line.------

And thats as far as mummy has taught me. Although theres many more tricks like falling down the stairs, serving food and tea to people, and getting rid of all other children in the same house.

I hope I do a good job of it, I dont want to get a sore bottom all Chinese New Year! Anyway mummy says its my duty. Coz since shes married she can't get any ang pows and has to give ang pows instead. Haha! Suckers! I will never get married and be a sucker!

Well thats all I have to say about Chinese New Year! If youre coming to my house, make sure you bring lots of cash, and maybe your checkbook, share certs and house title deed too!

But dont go away coz in my up and coming blogs I will be talking about:

- Updates on my new band - and Winnie's secret drug scandal revealed!
- Daddy's evil PSP, son of evil PS2, and the havoc it is causing to his cerebellum!
- The real secret of where Cat (Our Grey Dog) went: An exclusive interview with Blossom (Our spotty dog)!
- My shoe and handbag fetish revealed - PLUS my top 5 favourite looks from Mummys and Nana's wardrobe!
- Caught! Daddy in the toilet pictures!

Ahh, the things I do in the name of Journalism!

Mimi Back!

Finally, after not blogging for half a year (which is a quarter of my life), I managed to get my hands on a computer again! Its not easy.. when youre a babytot. Its alway no, no, no.

Jimi, no you'll make it dirty.
Jimi, no it will spoil.
Jimi, no dont touch daddys things.
Jimi, no thats mummys mascara.
Jimi, no dont wear mummys glittery stilettos.
Jimi, no dont push the dog down the stairs in your big police car.
No, no, no, no, no! (Imagine here my eyes boggle and turn into pretzels).

I cant wait till I become 2 years old and no more a baby! Then I'll show them! I'll drive my big police car and go to work in the office like daddy. And when I come back I'll eat ice cream and boss everybody. And I wont go oi oi ever until I want to! I heared Nana say I will be 2 soon, so start buying my birthday presents everybody. My birthday can happen anytime now, maybe even tomorrow.

Anyway, this year me and Winnie Pooh (my new best friend, who isnt as short as patrick and who didnt disappear like red) have started a band. We were inspired by daddy, with his nice music that he makes on the computer and gee-tar. But while daddys music inspires us to dance and jump and then trash the room, our own music will be more kiddy-friendly. It will inspire everybody to sing, learn, lick things and then trash the room! Haha! Winnie is smart and has encoded some sublinimal messages into our songs too. Dont be surprised if you listen, and then suddenly you want to drink milk from titties! Haha!

Barney is our manager, which is only right since we take some inspiration from Barney, Wiggles, Daddy, ABBA and Tool (which all smart babies listen to). We need a bit more practice, and then watch out! I will post my music video!

Thats all for now. Cheers until my next blog!