Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Grand Aunties Surprise Birthday
Well I am posting alot today! What a good boy I am, I must give myself a cookie or 5.
I just wanted to share with all my friends, that last night we went to Grand Auntie Vasanthas house and gave her a big surprise, on account of her birthday! Grand Auntie made me promise not to say how old she is but I can tell you its slightly less than100 yrs old...
Well I had lots of fun coz I saw my cuzzins hannah and deborah and hezzie and my tai koh Yuvan. Me and Tai Koh are in an Indian Gang. And we sure ganged up on those girls! Hezzie is still a baby and cant join me and tai koh's gang yet, so he has to go on the girly gang. We went around shooting things and robbing people of their toys, it was awesome!
Mummy says shes glad I had fun but I have to learn how to share better, and not take Hezzies toys from him.
I think I would have a lot more fun if mummy didnt follow me all around when Im doing my Gang Member Activities. What will Tai Koh say if I dont shoot some babies and bring in the spoils? Sigh. Once youre in a gang, theres only one way out. And thats in a body bag. Why cant mummies understand that...
So me and Tai Koh are maybe thinking of getting some matching gang tatoos... maybe of a car?
I just wanted to share with all my friends, that last night we went to Grand Auntie Vasanthas house and gave her a big surprise, on account of her birthday! Grand Auntie made me promise not to say how old she is but I can tell you its slightly less than100 yrs old...
Well I had lots of fun coz I saw my cuzzins hannah and deborah and hezzie and my tai koh Yuvan. Me and Tai Koh are in an Indian Gang. And we sure ganged up on those girls! Hezzie is still a baby and cant join me and tai koh's gang yet, so he has to go on the girly gang. We went around shooting things and robbing people of their toys, it was awesome!
Mummy says shes glad I had fun but I have to learn how to share better, and not take Hezzies toys from him.
I think I would have a lot more fun if mummy didnt follow me all around when Im doing my Gang Member Activities. What will Tai Koh say if I dont shoot some babies and bring in the spoils? Sigh. Once youre in a gang, theres only one way out. And thats in a body bag. Why cant mummies understand that...
So me and Tai Koh are maybe thinking of getting some matching gang tatoos... maybe of a car?
Learning about Time
I asked mummy this morning, "Mummy, how long is a million Gazillion years?"
Mummy said, Boy, a million gazillion years is about how long it takes for daddy to learn to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and almost about how long it will take for Britney Spears to be cool again.
I nodded in understanding, even though I do like Auntie Britney very much, ever since I saw the picture where she let her little boy drive the car. But you cant argue with mummy and win, especially when it comes to daddys dirty clothes.
So I asked "Mummy, can anything possibly last that very very long? And if time can go on for soo long, then am I just a little little speck that doesnt matter even though Im almost 2 years old and know alot of things already?"
Mummy said, Im much bigger than a little speck on account of all the milk I drink, and I matter very much to everybody who knows me. And she has many hopes for me that I will do great things when I grow up and I will be very significant to all humans.
I said, "like what sort of great things mummy?"
She said, Mimi, you can do anything you want to and Im sure it will be a great thing.
And if you become a scientist and one day manage to bend the fabric of time and space, so that daddy manages to get his dirty clothes in the right place almost immediately, then that would be a big help to humankind indeed and you might even win a nobel prize.
I told mummy I will try to work on it after band practice.
Daddy, do you think mummy is trying to tell you something?
Mummy said, Boy, a million gazillion years is about how long it takes for daddy to learn to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and almost about how long it will take for Britney Spears to be cool again.
I nodded in understanding, even though I do like Auntie Britney very much, ever since I saw the picture where she let her little boy drive the car. But you cant argue with mummy and win, especially when it comes to daddys dirty clothes.
So I asked "Mummy, can anything possibly last that very very long? And if time can go on for soo long, then am I just a little little speck that doesnt matter even though Im almost 2 years old and know alot of things already?"
Mummy said, Im much bigger than a little speck on account of all the milk I drink, and I matter very much to everybody who knows me. And she has many hopes for me that I will do great things when I grow up and I will be very significant to all humans.
I said, "like what sort of great things mummy?"
She said, Mimi, you can do anything you want to and Im sure it will be a great thing.
And if you become a scientist and one day manage to bend the fabric of time and space, so that daddy manages to get his dirty clothes in the right place almost immediately, then that would be a big help to humankind indeed and you might even win a nobel prize.
I told mummy I will try to work on it after band practice.
Daddy, do you think mummy is trying to tell you something?
Friday, January 18, 2008
CNY Babytots Intensive Training
These few days mummy has been putting me through some kind of intensive training course. Its for Chinese New Year, she says, which is coming up soon. She says there is a special way for baby tots to behave at Chinese new year, and if we learn to do it right, we will get lots and lots of ang pow.
I asked mummy, what is ang pow? Can i play with it or eat it? Or is it something useless like clothes and nappies? I remember last year I got ang pow but where did it go?
Mummy says "Never you mind, Jimi Boy, and never mind where last years ang pows went. You just get them and pass them to me. The more ang pows you get, the less spankings you get. For each ang pow you collect, I will minus down from 100 spanks. And remember, under no cirkumstanzes do you pass the angpows to Daddy."
Well. I dont know what is 100 coz I cant count, and I dont know the meaning of cirkumstanzes. But it sure sounds like im in for alot of pain. So I better try my bery bery hardest!
This is what mummy has been teaching me. She calls it 'roll-playing' (which is not the same as playing with your pee pee, like I thought). In the roll-play there is the married person (usually an Auntie, the giver of ang pow), me, and mummy.
(PS> IF YOU ARE A MARRIED PERSON, PLEASE LOOK AWAY! YOU ARE BANNED FROM READING THIS PART COZ ITS SUPER SUPER SECRET! IF I FIND OUT YOU ARE READING THIS, I WILL DO POO POO ON YOU!)
------ Married person filter line. No married person below this line. -----
-------------------------------------------------------
Roll-Play for CNY
Auntie: My my Jimi, havn't you grow big since I last saw you!
Me: (Doing cutest baby face, hold hands together, like an angel) Aun-tee, ang pow!
(Hey I can only say a few words ok!)
Mummy: (To me, angry look) Jimi!
(To Auntie) Im sorry I dont know where he learnt that!
Me: Aun-tee ang pow! ang pow! ang pow! (Hug and kiss auntie and big smile)
Auntie: Hahaha. He is so cute! And very smart for a 2 year old! Look Jimi, whats this... I have something for you!
Me: Gimme! (Open ang pow - find only RM2... look at mummy to see if this is good or bad) Auntie Yuck! (Throw away money if mummys look is bad)
Auntie more ang pow! More!
Auntie: Err...
Mummy: (To Auntie) Im so sorry...
(To Me) Jimi, stop this!.. Say sorry Auntie! This is not good manners...
Me: (saddest puppy dog eyes, wobbly with tears) Aun-tee, mummy scold...
Auntie: (To mummy) No, its ok... You have a daarling son....
(To me) Here Jimi, heres another ang pow. It was meant for your cousin, but you can have it instead...
Me: (Open ang pow - RM20, Good) Thank kyuu Aun-Tee!! (Big Hug Auntie)
Mummy: Youre terrible Jimi. Thank you very much, Auntie, youre too kind. Come jimi, lets say hi to other Auntie..
----Married person filter line. No married person above this line.------
And thats as far as mummy has taught me. Although theres many more tricks like falling down the stairs, serving food and tea to people, and getting rid of all other children in the same house.
I hope I do a good job of it, I dont want to get a sore bottom all Chinese New Year! Anyway mummy says its my duty. Coz since shes married she can't get any ang pows and has to give ang pows instead. Haha! Suckers! I will never get married and be a sucker!
Well thats all I have to say about Chinese New Year! If youre coming to my house, make sure you bring lots of cash, and maybe your checkbook, share certs and house title deed too!
But dont go away coz in my up and coming blogs I will be talking about:
- Updates on my new band - and Winnie's secret drug scandal revealed!
- Daddy's evil PSP, son of evil PS2, and the havoc it is causing to his cerebellum!
- The real secret of where Cat (Our Grey Dog) went: An exclusive interview with Blossom (Our spotty dog)!
- My shoe and handbag fetish revealed - PLUS my top 5 favourite looks from Mummys and Nana's wardrobe!
- Caught! Daddy in the toilet pictures!
Ahh, the things I do in the name of Journalism!
I asked mummy, what is ang pow? Can i play with it or eat it? Or is it something useless like clothes and nappies? I remember last year I got ang pow but where did it go?
Mummy says "Never you mind, Jimi Boy, and never mind where last years ang pows went. You just get them and pass them to me. The more ang pows you get, the less spankings you get. For each ang pow you collect, I will minus down from 100 spanks. And remember, under no cirkumstanzes do you pass the angpows to Daddy."
Well. I dont know what is 100 coz I cant count, and I dont know the meaning of cirkumstanzes. But it sure sounds like im in for alot of pain. So I better try my bery bery hardest!
This is what mummy has been teaching me. She calls it 'roll-playing' (which is not the same as playing with your pee pee, like I thought). In the roll-play there is the married person (usually an Auntie, the giver of ang pow), me, and mummy.
(PS> IF YOU ARE A MARRIED PERSON, PLEASE LOOK AWAY! YOU ARE BANNED FROM READING THIS PART COZ ITS SUPER SUPER SECRET! IF I FIND OUT YOU ARE READING THIS, I WILL DO POO POO ON YOU!)
------ Married person filter line. No married person below this line. -----
-------------------------------------------------------
Roll-Play for CNY
Auntie: My my Jimi, havn't you grow big since I last saw you!
Me: (Doing cutest baby face, hold hands together, like an angel) Aun-tee, ang pow!
(Hey I can only say a few words ok!)
Mummy: (To me, angry look) Jimi!
(To Auntie) Im sorry I dont know where he learnt that!
Me: Aun-tee ang pow! ang pow! ang pow! (Hug and kiss auntie and big smile)
Auntie: Hahaha. He is so cute! And very smart for a 2 year old! Look Jimi, whats this... I have something for you!
Me: Gimme! (Open ang pow - find only RM2... look at mummy to see if this is good or bad) Auntie Yuck! (Throw away money if mummys look is bad)
Auntie more ang pow! More!
Auntie: Err...
Mummy: (To Auntie) Im so sorry...
(To Me) Jimi, stop this!.. Say sorry Auntie! This is not good manners...
Me: (saddest puppy dog eyes, wobbly with tears) Aun-tee, mummy scold...
Auntie: (To mummy) No, its ok... You have a daarling son....
(To me) Here Jimi, heres another ang pow. It was meant for your cousin, but you can have it instead...
Me: (Open ang pow - RM20, Good) Thank kyuu Aun-Tee!! (Big Hug Auntie)
Mummy: Youre terrible Jimi. Thank you very much, Auntie, youre too kind. Come jimi, lets say hi to other Auntie..
----Married person filter line. No married person above this line.------
And thats as far as mummy has taught me. Although theres many more tricks like falling down the stairs, serving food and tea to people, and getting rid of all other children in the same house.
I hope I do a good job of it, I dont want to get a sore bottom all Chinese New Year! Anyway mummy says its my duty. Coz since shes married she can't get any ang pows and has to give ang pows instead. Haha! Suckers! I will never get married and be a sucker!
Well thats all I have to say about Chinese New Year! If youre coming to my house, make sure you bring lots of cash, and maybe your checkbook, share certs and house title deed too!
But dont go away coz in my up and coming blogs I will be talking about:
- Updates on my new band - and Winnie's secret drug scandal revealed!
- Daddy's evil PSP, son of evil PS2, and the havoc it is causing to his cerebellum!
- The real secret of where Cat (Our Grey Dog) went: An exclusive interview with Blossom (Our spotty dog)!
- My shoe and handbag fetish revealed - PLUS my top 5 favourite looks from Mummys and Nana's wardrobe!
- Caught! Daddy in the toilet pictures!
Ahh, the things I do in the name of Journalism!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Mimi Back!
Finally, after not blogging for half a year (which is a quarter of my life), I managed to get my hands on a computer again! Its not easy.. when youre a babytot. Its alway no, no, no.
Jimi, no you'll make it dirty.
Jimi, no it will spoil.
Jimi, no dont touch daddys things.
Jimi, no thats mummys mascara.
Jimi, no dont wear mummys glittery stilettos.
Jimi, no dont push the dog down the stairs in your big police car.
No, no, no, no, no! (Imagine here my eyes boggle and turn into pretzels).
I cant wait till I become 2 years old and no more a baby! Then I'll show them! I'll drive my big police car and go to work in the office like daddy. And when I come back I'll eat ice cream and boss everybody. And I wont go oi oi ever until I want to! I heared Nana say I will be 2 soon, so start buying my birthday presents everybody. My birthday can happen anytime now, maybe even tomorrow.
Anyway, this year me and Winnie Pooh (my new best friend, who isnt as short as patrick and who didnt disappear like red) have started a band. We were inspired by daddy, with his nice music that he makes on the computer and gee-tar. But while daddys music inspires us to dance and jump and then trash the room, our own music will be more kiddy-friendly. It will inspire everybody to sing, learn, lick things and then trash the room! Haha! Winnie is smart and has encoded some sublinimal messages into our songs too. Dont be surprised if you listen, and then suddenly you want to drink milk from titties! Haha!
Barney is our manager, which is only right since we take some inspiration from Barney, Wiggles, Daddy, ABBA and Tool (which all smart babies listen to). We need a bit more practice, and then watch out! I will post my music video!
Thats all for now. Cheers until my next blog!
Jimi, no you'll make it dirty.
Jimi, no it will spoil.
Jimi, no dont touch daddys things.
Jimi, no thats mummys mascara.
Jimi, no dont wear mummys glittery stilettos.
Jimi, no dont push the dog down the stairs in your big police car.
No, no, no, no, no! (Imagine here my eyes boggle and turn into pretzels).
I cant wait till I become 2 years old and no more a baby! Then I'll show them! I'll drive my big police car and go to work in the office like daddy. And when I come back I'll eat ice cream and boss everybody. And I wont go oi oi ever until I want to! I heared Nana say I will be 2 soon, so start buying my birthday presents everybody. My birthday can happen anytime now, maybe even tomorrow.
Anyway, this year me and Winnie Pooh (my new best friend, who isnt as short as patrick and who didnt disappear like red) have started a band. We were inspired by daddy, with his nice music that he makes on the computer and gee-tar. But while daddys music inspires us to dance and jump and then trash the room, our own music will be more kiddy-friendly. It will inspire everybody to sing, learn, lick things and then trash the room! Haha! Winnie is smart and has encoded some sublinimal messages into our songs too. Dont be surprised if you listen, and then suddenly you want to drink milk from titties! Haha!
Barney is our manager, which is only right since we take some inspiration from Barney, Wiggles, Daddy, ABBA and Tool (which all smart babies listen to). We need a bit more practice, and then watch out! I will post my music video!
Thats all for now. Cheers until my next blog!
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